WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
my poor anus
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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