I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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