How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
