i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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