If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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