You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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