I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
