I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
