that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
