Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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