I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
