I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize