i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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