You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize