He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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