I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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