eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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