There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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