Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize