i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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