are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
