I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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