Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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