i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
