Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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