My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize