If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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