I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
