ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
