He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
