I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
