You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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