i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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