Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
