If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
