I showed him my bush... on skype.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
