Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
