I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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