wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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