Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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