Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My vagina just clenched in fear
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
