i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
