Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
