idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
