i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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