its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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