she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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