her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize