dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
