Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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