I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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