therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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