I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
