I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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