glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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