are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
