You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
