i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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