Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
