is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
