I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
