When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
