I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
