Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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