idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
