he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
