if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
