The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize