just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
