I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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