She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
