i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
