i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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