you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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