But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
