Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dicks are not precious.
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