So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
