so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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