Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?

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(647): View more from Ontario

The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.

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(408): View more from California

I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.

Fav 20 3699 2016
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(801): View more from Utah

He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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(614): View more from Ohio

ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.

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(727): View more from Florida

Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.

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