my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
